Saturday, 27 February 2010


Hey guys,
I am going shopping next weekend and I have compiled a list of everything I want to get. So here goes.
I'm going to Florida at Easter soooo... I need lotsa shorts and also lotsa summer dresses like the ones above and below. Which, btw, has a tie back so it looks a lot more edgy and less "I am a peach, please eat me or wear me to the Ascots, possibly on your head even though I am a dress".I swear, someone could wear a diaper on their head to those kind of events and people would say, "Oh dear me, how novel! How innovative!" Sorry, Queenie. I like stuff perched on my head too, just the slightly less diaper-like things. See waaayyy down below.

And this lace leotard, but not in the "I am a peach" color -- I couldn't find a picture of the grey one I actually wanted but if you want you can Photoshop it to get the full idea, if you have that much time on your hands. Ahem. I of course have other things to do other than blogging, because I lead a very cool life going to the Tate Modern and speaking at the Berlin Film Festival. Ahem.
And its for layering only. Don't worry, its not my newest dance uniform. I'm not that much of a skank, and I don't like having stuff on my head enough to enjoy having my father's fist there, in a forceful way. Which is what would happen if I wore this...... un-layered.God, it looks really stupid in that color. I have to move on or I may claw at the computer screen, shrieking "You are not a peach, shut up, AAAAAAAAAAARRGHH!!"I am going through a headgear phase that started the day I was born so of course headbands and a nifty fedora (excuse the stupid 70s reference -- god, nifty I can't believe I just said that.) are essssential. My dear mother once compared a headband that looked like the one in the center to a forties funeral getup.

Say what? Katy Perry's friend died???
I'm joking. Ha. Ha, ha. Ok, no. But that is probably what she would wear to the burial. And if I were her dead friend I would reach up with my cold dead hands and pluck it off her head because it is so cool and she would freak and run away to Antarctica and never wear stupid leather bustiers with floral 'Grandma' skirts ever again.
Sorry, I would appear to be having one of my sick fashion daydreams again. Funny how they always occur while I'm blogging.I kinda think the last headband looks like the wrought-iron flowers that twined around the cemetery gates near our old house in Germany. Which is saddening on two accounts as I miss Germany and in a cemetery, people are dead. Boo hoo.Lastly, the fedora. I like fedoras because they look cool on cool people and if I wear one, I will be able to see if I am considered a cool person or not. If I receive cries of "Your hat is stupid" and people start egging my house, I will know that I am not a cool person. If I receive cries of "Wow your hat is amazing!" and people start covering my house in........ chocolate, I am a cool person.
So once I buy it, I 'll post the pictures on here and you can decide if I am a cool person or not. Please do not cover your computer screen in chocolate, it may die. But if you feel the urge to egg me then by all means cover your screen in sticky yellow egg-guts and kill it because it would SERVE YOU RIGHT.
Don't people of a cynical nature annoy you?Hahahaha.
Ok, I will do a favorite designer garment report next time.
But here's a hint. And an anagram.

Roiams Whabcs.

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