Saturday, 27 February 2010

STUFF I"M GONNA BUY WHEN I GO SHOPPING!!!!!!!

Hey guys,
I am going shopping next weekend and I have compiled a list of everything I want to get. So here goes.
I'm going to Florida at Easter soooo... I need lotsa shorts and also lotsa summer dresses like the ones above and below. Which, btw, has a tie back so it looks a lot more edgy and less "I am a peach, please eat me or wear me to the Ascots, possibly on your head even though I am a dress".I swear, someone could wear a diaper on their head to those kind of events and people would say, "Oh dear me, how novel! How innovative!" Sorry, Queenie. I like stuff perched on my head too, just the slightly less diaper-like things. See waaayyy down below.

And this lace leotard, but not in the "I am a peach" color -- I couldn't find a picture of the grey one I actually wanted but if you want you can Photoshop it to get the full idea, if you have that much time on your hands. Ahem. I of course have other things to do other than blogging, because I lead a very cool life going to the Tate Modern and speaking at the Berlin Film Festival. Ahem.
And its for layering only. Don't worry, its not my newest dance uniform. I'm not that much of a skank, and I don't like having stuff on my head enough to enjoy having my father's fist there, in a forceful way. Which is what would happen if I wore this...... un-layered.God, it looks really stupid in that color. I have to move on or I may claw at the computer screen, shrieking "You are not a peach, shut up, AAAAAAAAAAARRGHH!!"I am going through a headgear phase that started the day I was born so of course headbands and a nifty fedora (excuse the stupid 70s reference -- god, nifty I can't believe I just said that.) are essssential. My dear mother once compared a headband that looked like the one in the center to a forties funeral getup.

Say what? Katy Perry's friend died???
I'm joking. Ha. Ha, ha. Ok, no. But that is probably what she would wear to the burial. And if I were her dead friend I would reach up with my cold dead hands and pluck it off her head because it is so cool and she would freak and run away to Antarctica and never wear stupid leather bustiers with floral 'Grandma' skirts ever again.
Sorry, I would appear to be having one of my sick fashion daydreams again. Funny how they always occur while I'm blogging.I kinda think the last headband looks like the wrought-iron flowers that twined around the cemetery gates near our old house in Germany. Which is saddening on two accounts as I miss Germany and in a cemetery, people are dead. Boo hoo.Lastly, the fedora. I like fedoras because they look cool on cool people and if I wear one, I will be able to see if I am considered a cool person or not. If I receive cries of "Your hat is stupid" and people start egging my house, I will know that I am not a cool person. If I receive cries of "Wow your hat is amazing!" and people start covering my house in........ chocolate, I am a cool person.
So once I buy it, I 'll post the pictures on here and you can decide if I am a cool person or not. Please do not cover your computer screen in chocolate, it may die. But if you feel the urge to egg me then by all means cover your screen in sticky yellow egg-guts and kill it because it would SERVE YOU RIGHT.
Don't people of a cynical nature annoy you?Hahahaha.
Ok, I will do a favorite designer garment report next time.
But here's a hint. And an anagram.


Roiams Whabcs.
Adios
E

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Back to civilization-land. Stuck in a rut.....

Hey peoples.
I have several problems at the moment.
1) I HAVE NO MONEY. Ok, I do, but I am annoyingly frugal which means that when I see something amazing I tell myself I don't need it and then I tell myself I'll spend the money on something even more amazing and then I don't find anything more amazing and then I go back to the store. AND THE AMAZING THING IS GONE. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. And then I transform into Godzilla and ransack the facade of Topshop (mentally).
2)I really need some inspiration... because I just came back from a very relaxing yet boring vacation with my grandparents in the southern provinzes of Germany. Where the only clothing -related items within a couple miles are the kind of things you find in 'Karins Mode-St├╝bchen'.
Translation: Karin's little fashion hut. Where they sell stuff like this.


Yeah no offense to you Karin, but you have to get your but to the Himalayas and never come back because I'm sure you could make a lot more money making Yak-blankets, and you have a lot of experience in making clothes that look like them.

And then there is the ever-lingering problem that my dear sartorially clueless motherforbids me from wearing these.



Yes, that's right. Heels. Of any kind. I may have to send her on an expensive vacation in Australia so that I can stock up on heels in peace and then when she comes back I'll drug her with her own Ibuprofen so she is clueless. Heheheheeehehehehehee.

Anyway, excuse me while I hunt for some good stuff to put up on this thing.

Ah the perfect thing!! Chanel ss10....


Karl you are a genius I love you. As a shopper, I'm hooked. As a semi-designer, I'm jealous. Especially of the amazing beige mini-crini dress under the short black gauzy overcoat.

Btw, I like these from Topshop.



Au revoir mes amis.
E

Thursday, 11 February 2010

Recessionista baby. Dad's old jeans jacket

Hi. Pictures ---->


Forgot to tell you about me going shopping on Saturday!!!!!!! As in last Saturday. I bought some wicked gunmetal cords -- yes I know cords are usually dumb but I so assure thee these are not! -- and these gorgeous dark flares.

I will have these glasses. I WILL. MINE SUCK I WANT THESE AND THE UNIVERSE WILL IMPLODE IF I DON"T GET THEM. I shall fling myself off a bridge.



OH MY GOD. Just found out that Alexander McQueen died.

Sorry, I don't feel like blogging anymore.
E

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Bootlycious Gaga & Shmexy Denim & Glasses... & Denim Glasses

Hola my friendies,
While pondering my life and simultaneously charging my already-hyper system with wayyy too much sugar, I came up with the main theme for today's post. 'Tis also my favourite band. YES I KNOW I HAVE UNUSUAL MUSIC TASTE FOR A 13-YEAR-OLD. SHUT UP, N-DUBZ LOVERS.

'Tis THE BEATLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



By the way, did you know that there was some bizarre belief goin' around for a while in the late '60s that Paul McCartney was dead and that the remaining Beatles were trying to subliminally communicate their loss with the rest of the world by not putting the Paul McCartney "impersonator" in shoes??

He might as well be dead, his face has been reconstructed surgically so much. It's bloody ridiculous.
Ew. Gross.

Anyway, another bizarre belief is that John Lennon isn't actually dead -- apparently The Beatles staged a faux assassination to up their publicity. Now, I'm sorry, but this, again, is doodoo. So there, Liv Thompson (classmate).

Anyway, all I wanted to say is that I LOVE YOU BEATLES YOU ARE FOREVER THE MOST AWESOME BAND AND I WON'T BE HAVING ANY OF THIS NEWFANGLED CRAP. Sozzz Rihanna. Thpbthhpb.


Subject numero 2: My awesome costumes for the Gym & Dance display. Watch and learn, ingenues.

The skirt for this one is gold sequins, and the top is either black or white. The song: Bootylicious by Destiny's Child.


Needless to say, my classmates were very impressed. Only joking. I dunno. Were they? Hecko.

Bad Romance: Finished copy.



Basically the people are gonna be wearing the same thing: black, silver, and, most importantly, short.
Then there is going to be an abundance of silver body art and glitter. Gaga hulala. By the way, don't you love her Alexander McQueen heels in the 'fashion baby' part?


Work it with that bitch crrrazy.

I must admit they are kinda alien, but alien in a good way, like me.

And lastly, people who look cool in glasses part one. (I.e., not me.)



Bye-bye lotsa love.
E

Friday, 5 February 2010

Some Amazing Gowns. AND my own prejudice against extreme side partings

Hi there good morning good morning. I mean good evening. Hehee...
I am meant to me doing my physics hw but this is a lot more interesting! REBEL REBEL ME.

It's a Friday evening and I am Bored. Again, capital B. So..... here's some cool stuff.

I played a little game with myself where I typed the first designer that pooped into my head into the Google images search bar... which yielded some interesting results that will, I guarantee, make you positively swoon.


Very cool, no? By the way, in case you hadn't guessed, this was the one and only Oscar de la Renta. If you are not familiar with his stuff, he is basically everywhere you see a ginormous tulle ballgown. I really like the lemon yellow dress, its wearable but makes a statement. But even if it WERE a lemon pop-coloured ball-gown I would still wear it to my local pub without a second thought. Pah. Take that, Hollister. Also love the silk kimono-ish suits -- they look like they're comfy enough to go to sleep in and indescribably cool enough to wear to the Met Ball. I wouldn't, but no one would scrutinize me like complete strangers do when I show up on the street wearing my vintage Sex Pistols tee paired with a metallic-floral print skirt. Pah. Losers. In jeggings, Uggs and extreme side partings which makes it look as if their hair were sliding off their heads. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
No, the dress I would wear to the Met Ball if I were invited would look something like this.


But until then, I'll just have to wow 'em at prom.
x E

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Heya.
Not blogged for a couple dayses, sorry about that, I have a Bio test (arghgggg who cares about microbes??? NOT ME!! NOT ME AT ALL!!).... Anyway, I was going to upload a video of the YSL ss10 because.... its Scary with a capital S (no, not a typo). The clothes are okay, but nothing special -- basically a revisitation of stuff from M. Laurent's eighties archives, but hey. I don't suppose I'm in much of a position to protest, me being an 'amateur', but seeing as practically no one is gonna read this I might as well insult everyone I can before anyone hears about me. Only kidding.... hahahahaha..... ahem. Moving right along...
I can't figure out how to upload videos, its so depressing!! I REALLY wanna show you guys the scary models. Because that's why I wanted to put the vid up -- not because of the less-than-stunning designs, but because of the models expressions and stances. And and this point I am going to launch into a tirade of a rant about how...
Models are basically considered by many women to be considered perfection; the epitome of womanhood: skinny, beautiful (mostly) and leggy. They think this is sexy (which, really ladies, it isn't -- sure, models look good, but who wants to hug an oversized stick insect? Even grosser than microbes!) So if models are looking really, well, EVIL and very very unhappy, what kind of message is that gonna send? So now we have to be grumpy as well as skinny?
Its not as serious as the eating disorders on the runway, but it still bothers me. And I'm not going to go out looking as if I wanna beat someone to a pulp just 'cause I saw it on the YSL runway.
BUT FIRST SOMEBODY HAS TO SHOW ME HOW TO UPLOAD VIDEOS.
Until then, here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ybi_slBZl3w&feature=related


IF I ever fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a designer, my models better smile. I will MAKE them smile.
But here are my awesome custom-designed sneakers by NIKEiD!! They even say my name...


Sorry about the blurriness, I have a crappy camera. THE crappy camera of crappy cameras.
BYEbye.
xxx
Em