Tuesday, 4 May 2010

BB GOES RETRO

"Why Don't You Love Me" - Beyoncé from Beyoncé on Vimeo.




Finally, the video for one of my very favorite songs by one of my very favorite artists: none other than Beyoncé Knowles, also known as BB Homemaker, her new stage persona.I dunno, guys. I think I sense a little GaGa-inspired undercurrent here -- sorry B, not that we're doubting your creativity one little bit, but this is almost as -- what's the word -- eloquent as one of Lady G's (long-winded) videos, which (in case you have been living under a rock) actually tell the story of the murderous Lady being trucked off to prison, where she faces shemale guards, b*tch fights galore and a definite skepticism of her wacky outfits (no surprise there -- but she didn't, and probably won't ever, pay her haters any heed; there are just as many people who love her outfits, par exemple me). Until she finally gets bailed out by (you guessed it) her partner in crime Beyoncé.... but you probably know that, unless you have been living in a Buddhist monastery for the last few months.
I wonder if the Dalai Lama knows who Lady Gaga is. Hmmf. This is going to bother me for the next week.But anyway, it looks like B has taken a page out of G's book, which doesn't bother me in the slightest. I love Lady Gaga's videos -- they're like my own music, dance, fashion and attitude-infused Agatha Christie novel (who I happened to be distantly related to. Very distantly).Still, Beyoncé's outfits can't begin to compete with Lady G's, although they are cute...
But seriously. Who can compete with a gal who lets herself be seen buttless skirts?

And have you seen the shoes? I mean, THE SHOES OF THE YEAR?

THEY ARE FABULOUS. And that, my friends, is the understatement of the year, to go with the shoes of the year.
Sure looks like she had no trouble finding an only slightly sane cobbler after McQueen passed away. I must find out who made them. I'll do that on my quest to find out if the Dalai Lama know you-know-who. Terry de Havilland? No, he still has an ounce of class, probably more than that... these are absolutely, deeply, deliciously over-the-top. I dare you to wear them with Fair-Isle knit, Gaga. Do it. Give the fashion nobility and '90s prepsters a heart attack.
But you know her. She will never wear them again. Maybe she'll give them to me! (NB I wear a size 8, just so you know, G...)
But don't get me wrong. I would wear the sparkly stuff (because I have the mentality of a magpie) but maybe I would leave out all the hanging-out body parts. NOT JUDGING!! I LOVE YOU GAGA!!!!

Speaking of which, it has recently come to my attention that there is a new book on young lady's ettiquette, entitled, rather fittingly, "Classy".

And if that's you in the yellow microminidress, I really recommend you buy this book. Also, you should get it if you like Uggs. Seriously. Its this or electroshock therapy. What kind of brainless person made it OK to wear your slippers out? As soon as I start my design career, you will be bankrupt and your business will go belly-up once I knock some sense into these blindly following prep-schoolers I live among.
Derek Blasberg must see my worship of Lady G to be the utmost of blasphemy. Well, hell to you, but I like the book. It's very true -- in this era where every other 15-year-old boasts a fake bosom (and UGGS!!) and where people queue up to get their Katie Price literature, which can not even be classified as a suitable toilet-paper substitute. Where as all the common sense gone? 30+ years ago every girl was wishing they had Audrey Hepburn's charm, poise and unconventionality, nowadays I have seen girls skip to the section in Hello! or whatever which glorifies the extreme tackiness of Myleene Klass' pink minidress. I have no prejudice against pink minidresses in general, but just LOOK. And her antics, too.


Plus the gold necklace. PLEASE never pair hot pink with gold.

Well, if I say anymore, I may start rambling even more than I already am, so I bid you Adieu.
EC

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